Lt. Commander Jeb Parker stared down at the docks and sighed; what a
fucking shithole and this was the only dock that could take a ship the size of
HMS Steadfast. The bloody islands were more suited to fancy yachts and it had
taken some careful manoeuvring to get her in safely. Lt. Tom Hollis smiled at the expression on his skippers face. "That was like trying to stuff a
fist up a mouse's arse. Any closer and we would have to use bloody
Vaseline." He chuckled and the bridge phone buzzed; he pulled it up and
said simply; "Bridge Aye." He listened and groaned, replacing
the receiver; "The old man [Admiral Foster-Jones] wants another bloody
sit-rep." Jeb leaned back against the steel plates and sighed - again -
the 'old man' was aboard HMS Courage - the flag ship of the small fleet- that
was spread across the Caribbean and did love his bloody reports.
Jeb smiled at his friend; "Tell him, we parked her without any
scratches and are reviewing the bloody situation, which I think is total
bollocks." Tom chuckled; "I'll think of something to say without you
losing a stripe." Jeb pushed his cap back and stared at the dockside and
the jungles that loomed over the small town. The heat was sticky and oppressive;
he was amazed that people paid a fortune to holiday here.
"That rich yank must be nuts. A fucking old pirate ship attacked
his yacht and robbed him of everyone, leaving him in a lifeboat in his
underpants." Tom smiled; "With his third wife, much younger of course
and his teenage daughter. Apparently the yacht crew was dumped in a small
rubber boat, five in that and three in the large lifeboat.
American democracy and equality?" Jeb smiled; "The bit I
liked was the description of the pirate captain. For Christ Sake, an eye patch
with large sword and fancy hat? The yank clearly had been smoking
something."
Tom shrugged his shoulders; "Two other yachts that were attacked
gave the same description. The captain looked like he stepped from a pirate
movie." They turned to young Ensign Harold 'Harry' Kiddiminster who
jumped from the bridge ladder and saluted. Tom and Jeb returned the salute
slowly. "What is it Harry?" Tom asked. The young man smiled and
rubbed his hands together; he looked like a schoolboy on his summer
holidays. "I went through the reports Sir, unbelievable!" He
stood smiling.
There was a silence and Jeb sighed, folding his arms; "Apart from
being 'Unbelievable' what did they actually contain?" Harry stared at him,
then grinned; "Oh right yes Sir. Just all the women interviewed by the
Coastguard and Island Police said the same thing about the pirate
captain." He stood, nodding to himself.
Tom and Jeb exchanged a sad glance; Harry wasn't the brightest prospect
the Royal Navy had ever recruited. Tom said slowly; "What did all the
woman say Harry?" It was like drawing blood from a stone. Harry nodded
again and said with real enthusiasm; "They all said he was dashing,
handsome and courteous to them. A couple apparently said he looked a lot like
Errol Flynn." He rubbed his hands together and smiled broadly.
Jeb turned to Tom and said quietly; "Fucking great, now we're
chasing bloody Errol Flynn around this shithole. Terrific." Tom laughed
and turned to Harry; "Anything else?" Harry nodded. Tom really did
sigh; "What is it Harry?" Harry shuffled his feet and said quietly;
"That team from home are flying into day. The jolly experts on Piracy;
Historians I suppose."
Jeb laughed out loud; "That's exactly what we needed; a group of
old history teachers to tell us about piracy from hundreds of bloody years'
ago. Now that's bloody unbelievable!" Tom patted his friends arm;
"I'll get Farmer [the Boson] to arrange a pick up for them. The Purser can
arrange the cabins, when they actually come aboard." Jeb just nodded and
wiped his face. "Bloody pirates my arse." He said softly, then added;
"Bloody piracy experts. My arse."
Tom left the bridge laughing, giving Simon 'Snakes' Simpson [the
Helmsman] an amused glance. 'Snakes' just smiled and stood by, hands behind his
back. This was a rum assignment he thought. Chasing an Errol Flynn look-a-like
- so called pirate captain - around the bloody West Indies. If it wasn't so
fucking serious to the top brass, it would make a great comedy film. But given
the Captains mood; he kept those thoughts to himself.
The bridge phone buzzed and Jeb picked it up; "Bridge aye." He
said and listened to young Norman 'Nobby' Bannister, who was on communications
in the radio room. "Just had a message from King George Airport Sir. The
civilian experts are just going through customs. They'll be about two hours
before they arrive." Jeb wiped his face; "Inform Mr. Farmer please
Nobby." Replacing the receiver, he turned to Simpson and said;
"Bloody piracy experts my arse."
Simpson did laugh this time. Jeb really didn't laugh, standing on the bridge with Tom and the slow witted Ensign watching the 'experts' arrive. They were coming up
the gangplank with Mr. Farmer with two seamen carrying their luggage; smiling.
Tom actually whistled and removed his cap, wiping his face and neck with his
hankie. "Sweet Jesus, I'm in the wrong bloody profession. Do you think
it’s too late to become a history or piracy expert?" Jeb just stared at
the woman, as she stepped onto the deck, quickly assisted by a very happy young
seaman who offered his arm.
"That is the
most fucking stunning woman I've seen in years." Tom muttered and Jeb
really couldn't disagree. Harry held up the piece of paper and said; "It's
a Professor J. Tibbs from York University with his assistant - a Mr. Owen Jones
- the big man must be Wilson Franklyn; a Yank from Boston University
apparently. The woman is a Doctor Alex Cappanni, also from York University. She
sounds Italian to me." Tom sighed; "With a name like Cappanni, that
would be a good guess Harry."
Jeb smiled at Tom; "Brains and beauty in a bloody neat
package." Alex was wearing a flowery summer dress and blue jacket, her
dark hair tied with a blue ribbon and matching low blue heels. She was dressed
in the height of women's fashion for 1954.
Tom grunted; "She looks like a bloody movie star with those dark
glasses." They both watched as she walked down the deck, followed by her
colleagues. Tom whistled again, watching her hips swinging gently with her
little steps. He wiped his face again; "What a fucking gorgeous
arse." Again, Jeb couldn't disagree with that observation. The Ensign
coughed and Tom turned to him, but didn't take his eyes off Alex's bum.
"What is it Harry?" The Ensign gave him another piece of paper;
"That Police Inspector will be here at six o'clock. He'll have dinner with
us in the officer's mess. Apparently there was another attack, yesterday
morning. French owned motor yacht."
Tom stared at the paper and nodded; "Have the guests been told to
eat in the Officer's Mess and what meal times are?" The Ensign nodded;
"Mr. Farmer is seeing to that Sir." He hesitated, then said;
"Just one problem with Doctor Cappanni, Mr. Farmer wants to know where and
when she can use a shower." Jeb and Tom answered together; "She can
use mine." Then the pair laughed and tossed a coin for it. The Commander -
to his hidden delight - won.
Tom handed the paper to the happy Jeb and tapped it; "Do you see
who authorised their assistance in this matter?" Jeb took the paper and
stared at it; "You must be fucking joking!" Tom shook his head;
"That's the real deal. That's the Prime Minister's signature." Harry
grinned; "Do you mean our Prime Minster? The English one?"
They both stared at him and Tom said quietly - the sarcasm in his voice
went over Harry’s head - "Well, it's not the bloody French one is
it." Harry nodded and asked; "What times should I tell the Doctor
that she can use your shower Sir?" Jeb grinned; "Any bloody time she
likes." Harry really couldn't understand why the ship's two senior
officers thought that really funny. When he informed Mr. Farmer, he was still
no wiser as Mr. Farmer also just laughed."
End of Episode.
.bmp)
"ALEXANDRA AND THE PIRATES." 